I am WOMAN!
I shave my legs, I sit down to pee.
And I can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
Can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook, can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles at any cost,
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
I never forget an important date.
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch,
And just cause I'm assertive, don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
Flowers are okay, but jewelry's best.
Would you look at my face, not at my chest!
I don't have a problem with Expressing my feelings,
I know when you're lying, you look at the ceiling .
Don't call me a girl, a babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN, get it, you prick?!
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