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I shave my legs, I sit down to pee.
And I can justify any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
Can get a massage without a hard-on.

I can balance the checkbook, can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles at any cost,
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.

I never forget an important date.
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.

I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch,
And just cause I'm assertive, don't call me a bitch.

Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!

Flowers are okay, but jewelry's best.
Would you look at my face, not at my chest!

I don't have a problem with Expressing my feelings,
I know when you're lying, you look at the ceiling .

Don't call me a girl, a babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN, get it, you prick?!

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