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A guy out on the golf course takes a high-speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.

As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor and asked, How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way.

The doctor tells him, I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay by next week.

So he took four tongue depressors, formed a neat little four-sided bandage and wires it all together -- an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries and goes on his honeymoon.

That night, in the motel room she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of knockers.

This was the first time he saw them. She says You're the first, no one has ever touched these breasts.

He whips off his pants and says, look at this, it's still in the CRATE!

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