I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: *I do physical labor *I work at great depths *I work head first *I do not get weekends off or public holidays *I work in a damp environment *I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties *I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation *I work in high temperatures *My work exposes me to contagious diseases Response From The Administration After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: *You do not work 8 hours straight *You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods *You do not always follow the orders of the management team *You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas *You take a lot of non-rostered breaks *You do not take initiative, you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working *You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift *You don't always observe H&S measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits *You don't wait until pension age before retiring *You don't like working double shifts *You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the days work *And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags. |
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