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Jon lived in Anchorage, Alaska. Right downtown. His house was literally right downtown. But he had no indoor plumbing. He did, however, have an outhouse. The older he got, though, the further away it seemed to get.
One night, he decided to just skip the trip. Instead, he decided to just relieve himself right there off the front porch. His wife was pretty pissed about his decision. Jon, you moron. Our neighbors can see you when you do this, you know. He'd not given THAT scenario much thought, so he promised his wife he'd not do it again. Not too many nights later, though, it turned bitterly cold. Right in the middle of the night he had to piss like a race horse. He got up, put on his slippers, and headed out of the bedroom to do his business. He was back in two shakes (so to speak). His wife, suspicious as wives are apt to be, said, You weren't gone very long. That's right. You went off the porch again, didn't you? Yes, I did. We had a talk about this, remember? The neighbors could see you, right. They'll know it was you and what you're doing out there.
Naw, they won't know it's me! This time I was squatting down!
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